I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
