Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
