Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
