She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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