you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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