literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
