i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize