Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
