i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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