oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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