why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize