Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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