Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
