whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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