you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
