Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
