Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
