oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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