I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
