This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize