Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
