I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
