She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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