He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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