he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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