Already got asked if we're dating
did you get engaged???
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
