Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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