It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
