whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
