You don't have asthma, your pregnant
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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