My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
