with your own penis?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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