For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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