Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
