i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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