At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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