do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
