So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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