Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
