What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
