"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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