If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
