yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
