hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
