And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
