I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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