winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
