whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
