Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
