Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
