P.S. I can't hear my feet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
