Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
