Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize