The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
