is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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