I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
