i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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