oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
