i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
