Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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