She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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