five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
